"Ruby Tuesday" or so Elder Hadlock says.....

“To cut off the confusion and accept an answer just because it's too scary not to have an answer is a good way to get the wrong answer.”

It's Tuesday. Oncologist Day. The big D-Day. The day that we have all been waiting for. Make-The-Plan, Work-The Plan Day. Didn't work out so well. The doctor was distracted, this by his own admission, had not familiarized himself with my case and really didn't know what to do except re order tests that had already been done. We showed him everything that had been done and he thanked us for telling him so I didn't have to be poked and prodded again. Never mind the $2500 it would cost to redo everything. He wants to meet with a radiologist to see if it is possible to biopsy one of the tumors because they are so small. I have it on good authority that a BB can be biopsied, so I am not real confident in this guy. During his "straight from the hip approach" he bounced around so much we are not sure he was talking about me, another patient of his, or some ambiguous Jane Doe. I love a "tell it like it is" doctor, what I don't appreciate is an insensitive one. If I indeed have 6 months to live I would rather not spend 3 weeks of it waiting for answers that pertain to my case. Anyway we will talk to him on Monday. He said he would call us, but his own staff said that we would need to call him back because he "gets distracted. This guy actually came with rave reviews from Dr. Bishoff, whom we dearly love. I guess we will give him one more chance. It is probably my fault because I was in such confusion trying to grasp his randomness that I didn't ask questions. On Monday I will be more proactive and take control of the situation. I am sure he will appreciate knowing where I stand. It is impossible for him to answer questions that were never asked. I am a "make the plan, work the plan" kind of a person, which is not good or bad. It is just the way I survive OCD. So, if I don't have a plan then frankly there is no plan and I obviously do not embrace that scenario in a patient manner. To remain in a somewhat stable condition I force myself to devise a substitute plan until the real plan surfaces. My alternate plan is work on being patient, sustain and support family and friends during this crisis, do all that I can to become informed about my condition, work out a healthy eating plan, and enjoy the moment without looking to far into the future. I remind myself many times a day that this is all in the Lords hands. There is a reason why things happen as they do. We need to take control where we can and let that which is out of our control follow its own journey. Wow, that sounds pretty good. I think I will put that into action right this minute.